Tadase promised Na-chan he'd find Amu and be there for her - because Nadeshiko, no Nagihiko, currently couldn't. And Amu wasn't ready for that, anyways.
And after a long period of searching, he's found her... at her house. Well, correction.
Kiseki found Amu's charas, and so he's GUESSING Amu's at her house. After he spends far too long debating on what to say if Amu's parents open the door, Kiseki floats up in front of Tadase, scowling, before floating over to the doorbell and kicking it twice.
Tadase scowls back at Kiseki as the bell rings throughout the Hinamori household.
Inside, Amu's three Charas are presently busy entertaining a certain four year old. Amu's parents, doting as they are, still had plans this evening, and upon her return home they assured her that 'life will get better' before rushing out to the big event and leaving Amu to babysit.
Amu is, it should be noted, not doing a good job of babysitting, because it's the four year old who opens the door. Ami squeals when she sees Kiseki. "Wittwe king wittwe king!" she says, then leaps up to try and grab Kiseki. Ran, Miki, and Su all look very panicked and try to stop her. All of them.
And lying on the couch is Amu, staring up at the ceiling and feeling sorry for herself. Her face is a mess with tear-streaked makeup. Her pink polka-dotted shirt is wrinkled. Her white sweater is on the floor next to her. So is one of the pair of black stockings she was wearing. That garter dangles down her leg, detached from its charge yet still disappearing up her black petticoatted skirt. The other stocking is still in place, however!
"Sissy's sad," Ami says to Tadase as she keeps leaping for Kiseki.
Tadase is... surprised to see Ami, to say the least. The last time he'd seen her, she had been forcibly applied to what was going to be a date between the two of them at the aquarium.
Kiseki gets out of the way just in time, thanks to the interruption of Amu's charas. And he flies away and into the house. "You!" he says, pointing at Ami. "You should follow me! We will go on a search for the Embryo! It could be anywhere, including the house of the girl with three Guardian Characters!" he says, commandingly.
It's likely Ami will listen and Amu's other charas will be roped in too. Leaving the space clear for the two of them. Kiseki turns to look at Tadase and gives him some VERY. EXAGGERATED. POINTING. MOTIONS. at Amu before leading Ami upstairs.
Tadase walks in, takes off his shoes, and closes the door. And he walks very slowly over to the couch, but he does make it there.
"Amu..." he says, softly.
Ami is incredibly easy to please. "EMBWYO EMBWYO!" she chants, chasing Kiseki off through the house. Su and Ran give chase, but Miki remains a moment, looking between Tadase and Amu. The blue-haired chara lets out a huff of frustration and says, "Honestly," then flies away to join the chase. Or maybe to chase Kiseki.
Amu dopesn't move as Tadase approaches her. She doesn't try to hide her horribly tear-staned face, her bad makeup, or her half-discarded clothes. If there's a problem with her modesty she doesn't seem to care. What she does seem to care is, "You knew, didn't you."
Tadase looks down. His feet become incredibly interesting for a moment. As does the fibers of the carpet in Amu's living room. Then her sofa. Then Amu's clothes. And then finally, he finds some actual words.
"I was sworn to secrecy. I mean it, too. I swore an oath. It was Na-chan's secret to tell." he says, using the name he's used to indicate both of Nagihiko's personas.
"I'm sorry, it wasn't supposed to hurt you. I've known Na-Chan's secret since elementary school. I think only I and Tsukasa know."
The sudden glare on Amu's face would likely melt stone and shatter crystal, if she pointed it at either. Hot, furious betrayal. "Well at least someone can tell the freaking truth," she grumbles out, then rolls over hugging her stomach as she faces the back of the couch.
There are a lot of boys in this world for whom that glare from the Cool and Spicy Amu Hinamori would send stammering apologies and leaving the house. But Tadase Hotori is not most boys. That intense glare, that intense pressure - somehow it steels him, like the pressure that creates a diamond.
"Amu... nobody meant to hurt you. You have to understand, Na-chan kept that secret from everyone. The other Guardians even don't know. But it was only YOU Na-chan was concerned about keeping it from. Because Na-chan treasures you."
Amu stays silent, glaring holes through the back of the couch. "Only he," she emphasizes the gender, "chose to sleep in the same room with me. He's seen me naked, Tadase. Or nearly so. He's touched my bare skin and put me in a kimono. Do you know how it makes me feel to know some perverted boy has been touching me like that under the false pretense that he's my best friend, and a girl!?"
Tadase kneels by the side of the couch. "Amu. You need to stop. I understand you're shocked, and you're trying to figure out how to deal with all of this. But you're saying things you don't mean. It's just me here, but you don't really want to call Na-chan a pervert. You know that's not what you want to say. But if he heard you say that, it'd hurt him."
Tadase sighs. "And wether it's Nadeshiko or Nagihiko, Na-chan is still Na-chan."
Amu's shoulder's hunch up at the at Tadase's nearness ... and then slump at his words. Again she stays silent for several long moments. He could literally count a full minute, holding his breath, where Amu says nothing.
When she does speak, it is with a little bit of a crack in her own voice, "Part of me wants to forgive him. But most of me is scared that I don't know anything about him at all. He's lied about his name, and his gender. His gender. Why would he do that? I mean, if he wanted to be a girl, and felt trapped in the wrong body that'd be one thing. I'd understand that. But the way he introduced himself ... I feel like all of this has just been a game to him."
Tadase waits patiently for Amu to be ready to talk after he does. "That part of you that wants to forgive him is the part you should listen to. The other parts are wrong. You're afraid you're going to lose a friend. You're afraid you've been tricked. But you haven't."
He sighs again and reaches out, almost putting a hand on her shoulder before he doesn't. "Look. If Na-chan was out to trick you he wouldn't have come to me so many times agonizing over wether or not to tell you. Na-chan was so afraid he was shaking."
Amu's shoulders slump even further, and she starts to shake just a little bit. "Am I really so hard to talk to?" she asks him quietly. "Am I really so scary that people are afraid to be honest? Why? Why couldn't he have just told me? If he'd just said it ... just said 'I need you to know, because I care a lot' ... that wouldn't have hurt. I'd have been shocked. And embarassed. But not ... not angry. And now I'm scared. Why didn't he just tell me?"
Tadase finds the better judgement within himself not to make comments about how Amu's outer character can make her concerns true.
"You can't change how it happened, Amu." he says softly. That hand /does/ find her shoulder now. He's trying so hard to be reassuring, to be comforting, but this is also one very strong problem. "I really think Na-chan was trying to find the courage to tell you. But it didn't happen on Na-chan's terms, and that's part of why it feels so strange. But I know why he was scared. He was scared because you're so important to him. He didn't want to lose you. And the way you're acting now is only validating that fear."
Amu's shoulders reach rock bottom, and she hugs herself all the tighter. "I don't want to lose Nadeshiko," she says unhappily. "She's been my best friend, and my only confidant. I finally felt like I had someone I could be the real me around; someone who wasn't going to judge me or laugh at me if I say something wrong or do something dumb. She made me feel so comfortable. I don't even know Nagihiko. I wish I could just take this whole day back. I wish I didn't know."
"So Na-chan can't be your best friend anymore because he's a boy?" Tadase asks, softly. "I know you feel hurt, but all of those things are true. Na-chan isn't going to judge you or laugh at you. Nagihiko is Nadeshiko is Na-chan. They're the very same person they've always been." Tadase keeps his hand on her shoulder, fingers clutching at her softly - like maybe he can transmit his feelings to her, make her believe the things he's saying.
Amu reaches up and grabs Tadase's hand in her own, then sighs. "I don't know," she says honestly. "I don't want just some random boy to touch me like that. I don't want to sleep in the same room with him. I don't ..." she trails off, then lets his hand go again and resumes the self-hug. "I just need some time to think about it. It isn't fair. It isn't ... fair."
Tadase nods a bit. "I understand if you want distance. And I do understand if you feel a little betrayed. I know Na-chan didn't mean to hurt you, but a lie and a lie, and those do have consequences." Tadase says, turning her self hug into a tight hug from him.
There's a squeeze before he lets go - trying to strike a balance between being as there for her as he can, and giving her space. "It's okay to not want those things. But he's not just some random boy. After all, if he was, I'd probably have to beat him up, right?" he asks, smiling a bit. There's nothing he can do about the way Amu feels betrayed, and he knows that. But he can try to remind her that he's here, too.
Amu sniffs amusedly at the mental image of Tadase beating anyone up. Especially Nadeshiko. She sighs and wipes her eyes, then rolls over to face him finally. For a long moment the girl says nothing, then reaches up to wipe at her face. "She was supposed to be telling me about you."
Tadase hears that sniff, and it at least makes him feel a little better. Especially when she turns and faces him finally. Sure, she looks a mess, but it's still a strangely beautiful mess, and in turning back to him, she's stopped turning away from him, away from the world.
Tadase shakes his head. "No, she was supposed to be telling me about you." he adds with that half smile. That smile that he wants this to be funny, but he's far too understanding of Amu's emotional state to feel RIGHT smiling.
Amu sighs and reaches up to gently touch Tadase's cheek, then lets her hand drop back to her stomach. She doesn't say anything for several moments, then lowers her eyes from his face to his chest. She doesn't smile, but she does reach out to hug him. "I wish you'd told me," she says quietly. "I know why you didn't, but now I feel like everyone around me was lying. Just like .." she trails off, then bites the words away. "I'll be fine. I just need some time, okay? You should probably go before my parents come home."
Tadase nods a bit. "I wanted to, but you know why I didn't. I wanted Na-chan to tell you, too. And I know why he didn't." But then there's a moment, and he's leaning closer, not further. "Amu... you're hurting. I can see that. I don't want to leave you alone when you're hurting... I don't even want to leave you alone when you're not."
"I'm not going to stop hurting just because you're here," Amu says with a sigh. "You can't just magic it all better, Tadata. It's not my dreams that are broken, it's my heart. Just ... go, okay? I won't do anything drastic. I just need some time to think. Maybe take a bath. Sleep on it."
Tadase nods a bit. He knows that, too. "I still want to." he says, quietly. But he's also wise in these matters, wise enough to know that he can help, but this is Amu's problem to handle, truly. "I know you won't do anything crazy, but... you've got my phone number." he says. "If you need me, if there's anything I can do for you, I'm just a phone call away. Don't worry about your parents or anything, I'll scoop you right up off your balcony if I need to. Just a little message and I'll be here." he says, and then he gets up. It's so hard to leave, just to put one foot in front of the other and walk.
"Embwyo, Embwyo!" cries a little voice, as Ami is cheerfully lead around the house.
Amu sighs and sits up, then reaches up to pull the clip out of her hair. "Ami-chan," she says. Time to be a big sister. "Let Kiseki go. Come on, I'll make your dinner," she says, and heads towards the kitchen.
"Yay, dindins!" calls Ami happily as she is distracted from the Embryo Hunt.