In that empty room across and down the hall a bit from Rei's room, there's a black-haired girl crying into Usagi's shoulder, and super annoyed by it. She has her face mashed into Usagi's thin shoulder, getting her uniform collar all wet, and her own narrow frame's tense and trying not to shake. Trying so hard to stop crying. Crying isn't something she does. It's not. She learned to control that years ago.
She learned to control that with a completely different set of hormones and physiological reactions.
Muffled and thick, her voice comes from Usagi's shirt, more or less. "I don't-- even know why--" Shuddering breath. "--I'm crying. H-how do I stop it."
Usagi, of course, is doing everything she can to soothe Minori. She knows these tears, has even drenched Mamoru's shirt with them more than once.
It's the sort of crying that will leave you feeling better after, impossible as it sounds. But at the same time, she wonders if Mamoru got this ache in his chest. Because even though she knows it's a good cry, that Minori has to cry at all is just...painful.
Usagi sighs, knowing the girl in her arms likely won't like the answer. "It's best to just cry this kind out." Her fingers are in thick girl hair, tips soothing over girl scalp. "If you try to stop it, you'll just get frustrated. And also." She moves her head until her lips are close to an ear and her voice lowers, as though sharing a secret. "It's okay to cry."
Even more muffled, because now the small hands tight up against Minori's chest and face are clutching that side of Usagi's collar, and Minori seems to be trying to become so small she'll disappear into a singularity of woe, "...no it's not. I d-don't-- do this. It's not me. I don't even have a, a reason to cry. No-- I guess I do. Stress, r-right? I haven't been-- been able to be alone. In too long. It's too much. A-and then, K-k-kunzite. I'm trying so hard. Usa, I'm trying..."
There is a mighty sniffle, and Minori starts to try and pull away, hiding her face in her hands. Extremely thick voice. "I need kleenex. A lot. Maybe. I don't-- I don't want to make you sad. I hate making you sad. I don't ever want to. And you're sad I can tell."
Usagi sighs. "Well, whoever put it in your head you shouldn't cry, I'm gonna kick their toes so hard they spit them out." There's back rubbings, and more head scritchies. "Crying's cathartic. And if anyone needs a good cry, it's you. And I know you're trying. You're the strongest person I know."
And then she pulls back a bit, sighing, thumbs brushing against cheeks. (And ug, even crying, she's gorgeous.) "Mamo-chan. Of course I'm sad. Someone's after the most important person in the world to me." She's also angry and terrified, but if she thinks too hard on that, then she'll start crying!
But then she gets an Idea, and she gives a bit of a grin. "But hey! I know it's not alone alone, but if alone with Usa's okay, you can sleep over at my place without Papa going eyetwitching. You'd probably have to suffer through dinner, but if you really don't want to we can just grab something to eat on the way back. And after, or whatever, Mama only occasionally checks to see if snacks are wanted."
And it's all nice, it's nice to have a hand in her hair, it's nice to be held, it's nice to have her back rubbed, but everything is still wrong and all of this is -- it's all things that aren't for Mamoru. They are, but it feels like it's
not for you, never for you
stolen, it feels forbidden, it feels like it'll be taken away if someone finds out, it's not safe. All of everything is not safe all over again. The height perspective, the fourteen-year-old AND GIRL hormones-- even at fourteen, Mamoru had been tall, tall. Mamoru hasn't been five feet tall since he was ten or eleven. He'd already had enough experience hiding himself in public, but he still cried alone--
The Luna Pen is thorough. The Luna Pen grants the skills and poise and knowledge necessary for a disguise to be effective. On top of all of this, the disorientation is really, really throwing Minori under the bus.
She has to drop her hands; she won't meet Usagi's eyes. The shame is palpable, and it's only the state she's in, it's only the complete lack of control, the fact that there was finally something to make her break when dumped on top of the mountain of stress. Her face is blotchy and her eyes are red and puffy, and hot tears are still coursing down her face, even as Usagi's cool fingers brush them away. She's patting the school jacket's pockets, hoping Minori carries a handkerchief, breath hitching and chin crumpled and mouth pursed tightly, and she finally finds one.
And then Usagi has an idea, and Minori blows her nose first before she can look up at her with watery eyes. "Can I sit on your balcony by myself or on the roof or something? For a little while? Just-- just for a while... because alone with Usa is okay except for I really-- I really do need alone-alone. I really do. Just for a little while."
It hurts to see her like this. Usagi decides she would do anything to make Minori much less sad.
And she's given the opportunity. "Of course. Balcony, roof. And I wasn't kidding about the attic. There's even a bed there, you know, in case you need a lot more alone-alone than you thought."
It's hard to offer. Every fiber of her Usaginess is screaming that she can hug the sad away. But, you know.
(She really has been looking for a book on How To Take Care of Your Introvert. No luck so far!)
"And also, I may have stolen a few more of your shirts."
There may even be a few of those Off Limits Space Shirts. Not to wear, of course, but with her place not being safe, she'd snuck out a few, not all, to protect them Just In Case. (They're in her drawer of Unmentionables, safely hidden beneath cotton and lace, folded with much more care than she's shown her own wardrobe.)
"And oh! You can also take a nice, long bath. If someone needs it tonight, they'll use it before dinner, because I'm known for my insanely long soaks."
She sighs. "Just tell me what you need, okay? Being a girl can be hard, even if you're already used to it."
So basically in a place Mamoru would also never, ever, ever be able to access them ever. EVER. Is where his off-limits shirts are.
Minori dries her eyes on her sleeve temporarily, and logistics, at least, seems to be something that's letting her get a grip. Practical things. A distraction. Something to focus on. "I-- I don't think I want to take a bath." Also Usagi saying she takes 'insanely long soaks' is actually what is making Minori blush fiercely. "But some of my shirts would be nice. And, um. I don't know how long this lasts. It's a good thing tomorrow's Sunday. And...and I was thinking that maybe specifying Seishou might be a good idea. I can be a visitor and come with you guys to class. If this can last all day I mean. And that way at least three of you will be nearby if there's trouble. Right?"
True, they won't be accessible to Mamoru (and by proxy, Minori) but this doesn't mean Usagi won't pull them out for her!
Usagi mistakes the blush as meaning she's not quite ready yet to look at herself as a girl. Because what's weird about saying she likes long baths?! (It's totally weird, especially to one's significant other, but this is Usagi.)
"Well, we can see how long. And if you feel it wearing off, you can just dash to the restroom or something."
And then she's groaning. "Admit it, you just wanna make sure I pay attention in class."
But the idea of being in the same class as Minori is exciting, and she may have a broad grin as a result. But wait! Serious Business!
She tries to smother the grin (almost succeeds) as she adds Useful Stuff. "Also, you'll be able to have lunch with us. Sometimes, if Naru-chan isn't there, we have little mini-meetings."
"I don't think me being in your class will be conducive to you paying attention in class," the black-haired girl says wryly, drying her eyes again, though that seems to be the last of the crying. "You're still going to have to try and behave, you know. But... lunch, yes, okay." She exhales heavily and swiftly, then drags her hands down her face and coughs a little. "O-okay, I need to wash my face... and then it'll be okay. And then we can go to your house. I-I should also probably switch up to the Seishou uniform."
Minori glances toward the door, hesitates, glances back at Usagi, then flits forward and throws her arms around the blonde girl and kisses her before running out the door.
Usagi scoffs and tilts up her nose. "Please. Like you'd let me get away with just staring at you all day." It doesn't mean she won't try!
And then Minori is about to leave, but then hesitates.
Usagi is happily stunned by the kiss. As Minori, she still smells of roses and earth and coffee and chocolate. And though there's no boy scent, there's still that familiar warmth.
When she's alone, Usagi takes a moment for a small sniff and wipes her eyes. It wasn't until the kiss that Usagi had been secretly afraid (even from herself) that Minori wouldn't still like her as a girl.
Then, all smiles, she heads out of the room and waits for Minori to finish washing her face.