Not Okay

It's not until the day after she heard about the recent incident that Makoto makes her way over to the Tsukinos' house. She's armed with two separate tupperware containers of mini brownie cakes, topped with whipped cream and fresh cherries; the larger container she presents cheerfully to Kenji once she's in the door. (The smaller one, of course, is to share with Usagi.)

"Hi, Mr. Tsukino," she says. "Is Usagi-chan home?"

She hesitates a little after asking - not because she doesn't think Usagi might be home, but by now she knows that Kenji is no longer in the dark about things. She feels like maybe she should say something, but she's not sure what. And once she opens that door, he'll probably have a lot of questions.

...maybe better to let the baked good distract him and leave it at that.

Kenji decides that getting greeted with a large container obviously filled with baked goodies is the best way to answer the door. And of course his eyes light up when he peeks inside. (Because of course he peeks inside!)

"Mako-chan, you're spoiling me!" These will go good with coffee. Or after a meal. Or just to snack on!

He sighs as he closes the lid and looks upstairs. "She's home. She's probably still asleep. Or still...well. You're more than welcome to go up there. Did you want me to bring you two anything?"

Nope, he's not looking for an excuse, not at all!

Usagi is, in fact, still sleeping. She's twisted in all the blankets ever, and the way her limbs and torso are positioned can only be accomplished by sleeping teenager.

There's a brace on her wrist to keep it stable while the last bit of healing takes place.

"That's the idea," Mako replies, brightly teasing as though that moment of hesitation on her part never happened. She doesn't have her father; the least she can do is spoil Usagi's now and then. "Thanks, but it's okay. I'll just go up and peek in on her."

So up the stairs she goes, careful to be quiet as she slips into Usagi's room and nudges the door closed behind her. Usagi being still asleep means that she doesn't have to see the way Mako's lips tighten a little when she sees the wrist brace.

She sets the container of goodies down on Usagi's vanity and then stands a moment, uncertain. Maybe she should just let her sleep... but it's Usagi, it's possible she could sleep all day if allowed to. After a brief interval of uncertainty, Makoto tries calling in a soft voice: "Usagi-chan...?"

The smell of baked goods is strong. Even from downstairs. Or through a tupperware container.

Her nose twitches in her sleep.

As Makoto calls her name, she sits up in bed, still asleep, nose twitching some more as she breathes in the scent of baked goods.

"Mako-chan?"

Her voice is as bleary as her eyes when they finally open them, and then she's a sleepy, yawning, adorable bunny. Far too adorable for Makoto to throttle, right?

Not that this possibility (which really isn't a possibility, let's be honest) is on her mind. She gives a sleepy, happy smile as she sits up and twists so she can snuggle against Makoto with a happy hum. "Mako-chan, yay!"

Throttling was never a risk, but either way, Mako can't help but smile when she's greeted so warmly. "Hey, sleepyhead," she answers, and loops an arm around Usagi for a quick hug back in return. "Having a good nap? If you're not careful, you'll sleep away the last of summer break." It's gentle teasing, much like what she gave to Kenji downstairs.

Usagi takes a moment to consider the question. "Yep! I woke up for a little bit, but." A WIDE YAWN, so big her toes stretch out. Then she beams up at Makoto. "If I don't get in sleep now, the naps during class will be worse when I get woken up!"

Usagi logic, it's...interesting.

She scoots back a bit and wiggles, leaving room for Makoto to sit down if she wants.

Another yawn, but she's waking up. Her nose twitches again, and her eyeballs nearly poke out of her head as she eyes the tupperware container, but politeness is to be had!

"So, how are yooooou?"

"I'm okay," Mako answers easily enough. "Just wishing the break lasted a little longer. I'm pretty sure everybody feels that way, except for Ami-chan and Mamoru-niisan."

Usagi is not kept waiting long; now that she's awake, Mako has mercy and leans to fetch the tupperware, popping the lid off and offering the brownie cakes to her. "I made these this morning."

"I think Mamo-chan would go crazy if we had summers like in America." Her eyes grow wide with hearts and stars. "Could you imagine, Mako-chan? I hear they get three months of summer vacation! Three! That's like...a lot of naps and a lot of manga!"

As soon as the tupperware lid is popped off, Usagi nearly melts into a puddle of delight as the blast of baked goody scent dives into her nose and dances a delightful tango with her olfactory receptors. "Oh, Mako-chan!"

She takes one. NOMF!

More melting and extremely thorough enjoyment is had!

(If ever Makoto doubts her skills, giving Usagi a baked goody would very likely alleviate all worry!)

Usagi is always very good for Makoto's confidence in her baking, it's true. Her confidence in general, really - Usagi has that effect on people in a multitude of ways. Mako smiles, pleased and affectionate, as Usagi dives into the goodies. "It's hard to imagine," she agrees. "If we had a whole three months off I'm not sure how I'd manage when the fall term started."

She lets Usagi enjoy a brownie cake - or two - without being troubled by more than this kind of idle chit-chat, before finally she lets out a breath. "I heard from Mamoru-niisan," she says, "what happened with Agera. How are you doing?"

Or three...

When Makoto mentions that thing, Usagi jerks and freezes in place as though she'd just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar and thinks if she just stands still, she'll be invisible.

Then she droops and the eyes she gives Makoto resembles a puppy who just widdled on the carpet and knew he'd done a naughty. "I'm fine. But the moon was asleep." She twiddles her good fingers against her comforter. "He was a buttface. I'mma tell Ami-chan on him."

With a lopsided smile, Makoto reaches to rest a reassuring hand on Usagi's shoulder. "When is that guy not a buttface, unless he's with Ami-chan?" She pulls a very wry face just thinking about it. Ugh.

"Sorry I wasn't there to back you up," she says after a moment of quiet. "He must've made you pretty mad... Did you really break your wrist punching him?"

Usagi mostly agrees with Mako there! She gives a huffy sigh! "He'd had some sort of not as jerky moments with me! But yesterday he was just a bully!"

HMPH!

Oh noes!

She flutters at Makoto. "No, no, I didn't call you and I shoulda! I'm really very sorry! And I don't know why I got so mad! I shoulda just tiarad him! But I knew I couldn't really escalate him, and and then he wasn't even sorry for what he did to my Mako-chan, and said really mean stuff, and I just--! I just wanted to punch his face off!"

She's gripping a pillow now, and is very much an angry, angry bunny.

The hand on Usagi's shoulder lifts to stroke over her hair, soothing. "Believe me, I know." Mako's voice is heavy as she says it, grimacing. "He makes me feel like that a lot, too, now more than ever. Total jerkface."

Sighing quietly, she lets her hand drop. "I'm kinda worried, though. Not about Agera - well, not any more than usual, but - doesn't this kind of thing seem to happen a lot?"

She's almost to the point where she can tilt her head up and purr into the soothing hand. But then Makoto's hand drops.

For some reason, Makoto's words makes Usagi's heart feel like it takes a quick bungee dive to her toes. "W-what do you mean?"

She knows what Makoto means, at least on some level, but having it pointed out means she has to think about things, and she doesn't wanna!

It's really not a conversation Makoto particularly wants to have, either - but keeping silent won't do anyone any good. Reluctantly, she continues, looking Usagi directly and steadily in the eye. "I mean... and this is me saying this... I'm worried that maybe you're being a little too reckless. Not just lately, but for a long while now.

"Maybe I'm wrong," she says, ducking her head a little without quite breaking eye contact. "I could be wrong. But looking from where I'm standing, it's almost like - like you don't even think about protecting yourself. It's scary, you know?"

And of course, coming from Makoto, it's like being doused by a bucket of ice water.

For a moment, and on a very rare occasion, Usagi is speechless. Her mouth opens and closes a couple times, as she tries to think while trying not to think.

"I don't know why."

The sound of battle, a glint of firelight against steel.

"I mean, it's not because I--I mean, I'm not--" She did that once. Once is more than enough.

She is, however, able to find one of the truths for it. A safer one, really, without thinking too much about things she's not thinking about. "I just...don't want to lose any of you again."

Makoto sits quietly, listening, letting Usagi try to work through it. And as she does, Mako puts her arm around her again, hugging gently. "I know," she says quietly. "But we don't want to lose you, either, you know? The way you feel when you think you might lose one of us... it's the same way we feel when you're hurt, or in danger."

A breath, before she goes on. "Ami-chan and Rei-chan and I, we're supposed to be your guardians. I'm sure you don't like thinking of it that way, right?" For a moment, a faint smile flickers over Makoto's face. "But even if we say that's not how it is any more - we're still a team, the four of us. If one person on the team keeps getting hurt, more than the others, then something's wrong. And I know how strong you are, so that's not the reason."

Usagi snuggles into the hug and looks up at Makoto as she speaks. When asked about the term guardians, she shakes her head. And then she nods at the team!

Then she's looking at Makoto's shoulder, picking at the invisible fuzz. "I don't know." A quick and hurried look up! "But it's not you guys honest and really! I know that much!"

More fuzz picking, and she shrugs a shoulder. "I know something's wrong. I don't know what. And when I try to think about it, I get distracted by sweets or naps or Mamo-chan or Rei, or I call one of you or Naru. And if I don't do that, I get all panicky."

Again, Makoto listens, closely and carefully. Her forehead creases in concern when Usagi talks about something being wrong, but she doesn't say anything right away, just nods slowly, thinking.

"Well," she says at last, "knowing something's wrong is the first step to fixing it. Have you talked to Mamoru-niisan about it at all?" Mako asks gently. "About feeling like something's wrong, but not knowing what? Or is it just that when you call him, you start to feel better and you're able to think about other things instead?"

"He knows- I mean, it makes him sad, but-" Usagi sighs.

It's very much like knowing the sky is blue.

You know it's blue. You just don't really think it's blue.

And okay that's a horrible metaphor because if you're describing the sky in a story or if you say 'Gosh the sky is really blue today!' then yeah you'd be thinking about it! But typically you don't!

"He's trying to figure out how to help me."

"That's good." Mako nods again, a little reassured. "I'll help too, however I can. I'm not sure how, but you can always call me if you need me, and I'll keep an eye out."

A little pause for consideration follows. "In the meantime," Makoto adds after a moment, "maybe we senshi should work on training together, so that we'll have it worked out better how to back each other up in a fight. Or try to work out some new ways to use our powers, or a system to make sure nobody forgets to call for backup, or... I don't know. But we need to do something, because it isn't okay for you to keep getting hurt so much. If things keep on like they have been, sooner or later you're going to get hurt worst than Mamoru-niisan can heal, you know? And the next time, there might not be a Fiore to make it all right."

"Hmmm. Mako-chan does give some of the best help." She nods, completely serious.

Her shoulders droop. "Training? Like...before school?"

She still remembers getting woken up by Hannah before school...

Then she jerks up a little, eyes wide. "I don't want to do that again! I mean, I didn't--! I tried not!" She sighs and snuggles against Makoto, aiming to shift from comforted to comforted. "I really am sorry, Mako-chan. I know I worried everyone." That's probably an understatement.

"I know." Once again, Makoto's hand smooths over Usagi's hair. "I know you didn't do it on purpose, and there wasn't any other good option. But that's why we need to work on these things for the future. So that if we're up against something that big again, it's not up to you and the Silver Crystal to maybe burn yourself out fixing it."

A beat, and then Mako smiles crookedly. "And it doesn't have to be before school. Maybe after, or on weekends. But I really think we need to. I mean, we're all strong, but there's always room to get better... and no matter how strong each of us is, if we haven't practiced working together, then we're not fighting as well as we could be. And that means people get hurt when they wouldn't have to."

Usagi nods and wrinkles her nose and fiddles with the pendant on Makoto's necklace. "Yeah. And I was too exhausted afterward to actually enjoy sleeping."

And then, she sighs with much relief and slumps against Makoto! "Oh phew! Mornings are so not my friend, Mako-chan." But she nods along and agrees!

She wrinkles her nose, though. "But um...when the teacher has us play basketball? I'm really bad at following the plays. What does a thumb have to do with a ball, anyway?"